Three years ago, Kayliegh came to me for EFT because her periods were irregular. She had 2 sessions and I didn’t her from her again until recently when she booked another session. At the start of the session, she told me how her periods had been regular ever since 3 years ago. Now she wanted to work on recent mood swings before her period.
At the start of the session, I invited Kayliegh visualise or imagine or get a sense of a circle where the 12:00 position represents menstruation, 6:00 represents ovulation, 9:00 represents moving towards menstruation and 3:00 represents moving towards ovulation. I then suggested that she imagine herself moving in a clockwise direction in a circle and notice what she sees/ feels/ senses. She was very surprised to that around 6:00 (ovulation) there was a brightness but around the area of 12:00 (menstruation) there was blackness and although she could see what was going on there, she couldn’t feel anything.
I told her how our menstrual cycle can be mapped onto the cycle of seasons where Winter is at 12:00 (menstruation), Spring at 3:00, Summer at 6:00 (ovulation) and Autumn at 9:00. The qualities of Summer and ovulation is movement, energy moving outwards. excitement, passion, sex to name but a few. During the Winter or menstruation phase, qualities included stillness, withdrawal, energy contracting and reflection. Our culture functions in the energy of Summer.
We love, actually we are obsessed with, busyness.
Time out, stillness, meditation, mindfulness are becoming more fashionable but many people still believe that there is strength in soldiering on however one is feeling.
So when women work in full time office jobs, they are expected to be functioning on all cylinders no matter what part of their cycle they are in. As an aside, I read recently in an article in the Daily Mail called Forget maternity leave – women should get PAID menstrual leave every month that menstrual leave is recognised in some countries in Asia, such as Japan and Indonesia! Anyway, back to my point!
When women ignore their need for stillness or slowing down during menstruation, in my experience, it can give rise to period pain or difficult emotions during that time.
Kayleigh resonated with the idea of needing to soldier on and felt that she was always doing that in her life. When I asked her what she was avoiding, she said she was scared of being vulnerable because if she was vulnerable she could get hurt. So I asked her when the first time she felt vulnerable from being hurt, she mentioned an incident in which her mother put her down for expressing her femininity that happened when she was 15 years old that from moment on she felt she repressed her femininity.
On a scale from 0 to 10 where 0 means she doesn’t believe it at all and 10 means complete belief, I asked Kayleigh how strongly she believed she could not express her femninity and she said 8.
So I did some EFT tapping on both the adult and teenage Kayleigh. We then tapped while she expressed to her mum how she felt as a result of that incident. What emerged was that Kayleigh had a yearning for approval from her mum so I suggested that she say to her mum “Please see me”. Kayleigh seemed angry and said that it didn’t feel right because her mum should already be able to see her so I changed the sentence to “Mum, I’m angry” and that felt true although she had not been aware of this before. Simply acknowledging her anger towards her mum, she was able to start allowing and releasing it which brought relief.
At the end of the session, Kayleigh felt ready to express her femininity and her belief in “I am not allowed to express my femininity” was down to 0. I asked her to have another look at the circle of menstruation and this time she was able to see and feel around the whole circle and felt more peaceful. I look forward to hearing how she feels during her next cycle.