When we have a sense of belonging then we are at peace. Belonging might be to our family, our work colleagues, a club, a religion etc. When you feel you truly belong to your family or other group, there is a feeling of rightness, ease and relaxation in your body. The opposite of belonging is feeling excluded or on the outside of a group and can give rise to feelings such as shame, aloneness, isolation, the need to withdraw, the need to do everything yourself and defensiveness.
This weekend I attended the first three days of a nine month foundation course in systemic constellations with the Centre of Systemic Constellations in London. One of the core principals of constellations is the right to belong. We explored this principal experientially but greeting each member of the group in turn, make eye contact and say “I belong to the group, you belong to the group”. This was a lovely exercise and although I felt fairly relaxed before the exercise, the feeling of deep calmness that arose from the knowing that I truly belonged to the group was surprising and pleasurable. I felt totally relaxed about just being myself without any need to fit it.
Normally I would probably make sure I went to lunch with the group even if I felt like I needed some time to myself but this time, I felt totally comfortable having some time alone and joining the group later while feeling completely at ease about just being there without having to contribute in any way.
If you would like to feel more connected to your family and increase your sense of belonging using EFT, I invite you to tune into your body sensations that you feel when you feel excluded or not part of your family and then use setup statements such as:
“Even though I have tension in my shoulders and feelings of anxiety when I think about belonging to my family/ religion/ group of friends… I accept myself anyway”
“Even though I feel like an outsider, I choose remember the times when I have felt accepted by others.”
“Even though I feel better on my own than with my parents, I choose to be grateful that they gave me the gift of life.”
