Part 1: Red Pegs
Yesterday morning I was gardening at the allotment as I like to do before I start work listening to an audio book called “Thank and Grow Rich” by Pam Grout. She talks about the importance of practicing gratitude and that manifesting the life you want, flows more easily from this place. So as I was weeding I was raising my vibration by counting my blessings of enjoying the beauty and nature around me, feeling grateful for my lovely husband and daughter, the freedom and abundance that comes from living in a western country without war… Then I asked the universe for magic and miracles today (something I do regularly but without the gratitude factor!).
When I got home there was a small parcel waiting for me which I opened. In it was a lovely card and present. The card said:
“Many moons ago you shared a video of how the Red Tent is made. As a tiny expression of my gratitude for all that you are and do… I though you might like these to make your tent even redder. Much love to you. Keep sharing your warm heart… The world is richer for it.”
I couldn’t imagine what could be inside. I carefully unwrapped the paper to find inside several wooden red pegs. I use pegs to hang up the materials that make up the walls and ceiling. I have always wanted red ones but only have brown wooden ones. I have never mentioned that to anyone…
Here is a thank you video I made in my facebook group:
After seeing the video she messaged me:
“Your message filled me with utter joy and brought tears to my eyes – it was extra special as my daughters could watch it and we talked about doing things for people – they had come to the post office with me. I’m sooo thrilled they arrived before you put the tent up … I was hoping they would but knew it would be tight! I have been meaning to post how much I love your daily posts. Such a lovely anchor … Given so freely and with such warmth and meaning. You have given so soo much not just to me but your whole online community … astonishingly wonderful … so the pegs are imbued with a deeper wider gratitude then they originally represented. 
“
It was interesting that this gift came at a time when I have been thinking about stopping the Red Tent Retreats as numbers have been dwindling. So why would the universe send me red pegs now? I was pondering…
And then I had some cancellations to the upcoming retreat… So I was even more baffled by the confusing messages I was receiving. Was I to continue or stop or do something different?
I have run Red Tent Retreats in various forms since 2010 on and off so maybe its’ time to change I thought… but how… I wasn’t sure!
Part 2: Pussy!
A few months ago, a dear friend of mine invited me along with a handful of select few to start a book club reading a book called “Pussy – A Reclamation” by Regena Thomashauer (Mama Gena). The synchronicity of the invitation was interesting as only a week prior to this I had listened to a Hay House talk by Mama Gena and thought “There is something for me to learn here!”. I immediately ordered that book and got reading. Some of it I found challenging, some of it liberating and some of it I am mulling over!
An important part of the Red Tent Retreats is emphasizing the importance of making time for oneself one a daily basis and making this daily practice more important than your “busyness”, your problems, your tiredness and your excuses.
So when I read the following paragraph from the book, I thought I would share it at the Red Tent Retreat:
“Pussification is the practice of taking the time to do small (or large!) things for yourself, for no other reason than to make yourself feel good. It’s making the space for yourself in everything you do…. Pussification sends a new message to the parts of you that learned you were not worth the time. It says I am important enough to take time for. Pussification is a practice, which means you do it whether you feel like doing it or not!”
I showed them the book and we started to discuss it and how we felt about the title. We always do something creative at the Red Tent Retreats so as a theme I suggested Pussy! This suggestion was met with shock and repulsion. So I suggested doing some EFT to release these feelings. So we tapped on:
- The unmentionable
- The disconnection from the unmentionable
- Not wanting to connect
- Shame
- Disgust
- Shocking
- Repulsion
- Revolting
- Embarrassment
- The messages we received from our family, our culture, our ancestors
- The original wound of women
- Needing to keep ourselves and our daughters safe
- Ugly
After several rounds, they got to a place where they felt calmer so I suggested that we all turn around to face away from each other and draw a private picture that nobody has to see. They felt comfortable doing that and once we had all finished, I asked them to find a title and an emotion for the picture and we did some more tapping on those until they were at peace.
One thing that surprised them was the feelings of shock, shame and disconnection that arose from them as they explored this topic. These feelings have been inside them all this time – they did not somehow arise out of nowhere.
I told them about how elephants are trained to not run away by tying chains around baby elephants legs to a pole stuck in the ground. The baby elephants can’t escape so stop trying. The adult elephants do have the strength to pull the pole out of the ground and be free but never try as they have been conditioned to know they can’t.
Many of us too have been conditioned to be disconnected, ashamed and disgusted with our pussies. We were conceived and born into a culture that disrespects women and their sexuality so there are many layers of negative beliefs and emotions to restore.
The feedback I got was nothing short of astounding. The women who took part today said this is such important work that women need so badly. So watch this space… maybe this is my new direction!
If you are a mum who wants to have feel happier in herself, with her children check out my book Frazzled to Fabulous in 5 Minutes a Day Follow my quick and easy step-by-step programme here https://www.frazzledtofabulous.com/