Last night I saw the fantastic film, Saving Mr Banks at the Rex Cinema (if you haven’t been there its a real treat!).
The opening scenes shows a carefree young girl sitting in an idylic sunny garden playing an imaginative game with flowers. The next scene switches to the 50 years later a repressed and grumpy woman, P.L. Travers.
My initial question was what happened in that girl’s life to create such a contrast of personality. Throughout the film there are flashbacks to her childhood which slowly reveal the woman’s journey. As a child, P.L. Travers had a close and playful relationship with her father in which they went on journeys in their imagination. But her father has inner torments, doesn’t succeed at work, is frequently fired and is an alcoholic. As well as using drink, he also seems to use imaginative play with his daughter, to escape his demons. Eventually her father drinks himself to death while P.L Travers is still a child.
What beliefs may she have created as a result of that experience to make her become who she was as an adult?
It was as though a part of her died with her father as all her care-freeness and sense of fun left. Maybe she created an unconscious vow that out of loyalty to her father, she would not enjoy life again. It is possible that she may have blamed herself for her father’s death (he asked her to give him alcohol when his wife had taken it away from him). Maybe the belief that she created was:
“I don’t deserve to enjoy life”
This belief may have infused every thought, feeling and action from there on especially when something from her present triggered the past. For example, there were pears in the fruit bowl in her hotel room. She immediately through them out of the window. The flashback showed that her father has asked her for some pears and when she returned with them, he was dead.
How would this belief affect her future? When faced with Walt Disney and everything he represented (fun, imagination, lightness, frivolity) she was triggered back into her past. Abundant cakes and sweets, Disneyland, song and dance were not part of her repertoire of life. It was as if she had entered a new paradigm and was forced to start addressing trauma that had kept her expressing the truth of who she was. It was only towards the end of the film that we saw her smile and allow herself to feel a bit of joy.
What events from your past are holding you back in your life? Core beliefs that we create in our childhood shape who we become, the thoughts we have, the feelings we experience and the directions we take in life. If you are not where you would like to be right now, maybe its time to look at what those beliefs might be.
Using EFT, it is possible to release the emotional charge from past events that are holding true the beliefs made at the time. In P.L. Travers example, assuming her belief is “I don’t deserve to enjoy life”, she may have needed to use EFT to release:
- Guilt, shame and self-blame about her father’s death
- Abandonment of her father
- Anger that he left her
- Needing to hold on to these feelings so that she can indeed remember him and keep him in her heart
- Guilt at the possibility of letting these feelings go
- Fear of who she would become if she didn’t keep these feelings and beliefs
- Fear of not knowing how to enjoy life
- Forgiving herself for having these feelings
- Forgiving her father for leaving her early
Once these feelings have been released, she would be able to put into place new beliefs like “I am open to the possibility of experiencing joy in my life while still keeping my father in my heart”
If you are a mum who wants to have feel happier in herself, with her children check out my book Frazzled to Fabulous in 5 Minutes a Day Follow my quick and easy step-by-step programme here https://www.frazzledtofabulous.com/