Every week I meet with a friend to chat, meditate, drink tea and eat Green and Blacks 85% chocolate. This week when I arrived I announced that I thought I was falling down the hole again! Luckily my friend knows me well and knew exactly what I was talking about. It is a favourite story of ours that is a wonderful metaphor for life. I first read about it in the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche.
Chapter 1
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in
I am lost… I am hopeless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter 2
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hold in the sidewalk.
I pretend I dont see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I’m in the same place
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter 3
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I see it is there.
I still fall in…it’s a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is my fault
I get out immediately
Chapter 4
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I walk Round it.
Chapter 5
I walk down another street”
We are all at various stages of this story in relationship to different issues in our life.
The issue I was referring to with my friend is my issue of getting overwhelmed. Initially I was at chapter 1 and I wasn’t even aware of the actions I was taking to create the overwhelm I experienced. Suddenly I would find myself down the hole feeling exhausted, burnt out and unable to function. I would pass it as one of those things I go through. I’d pick myself up and get on with life only to repeat a similar pattern a few months later.
After what must have been a few years!!! (sigh with embarrassment) I began to ask myself, “how did I get there?”. I had now arrived at chapter 2. It was then that life/ the universe gave me the opportunity I needed to see what was going on.
I was driving along a busy dual carriage way when my car suddenly lost power and I had no choice but to pull over onto the hard shoulder. I called the RAC but they told me they would be 2 hours so I called the police who somehow managed to start the car immediately. I drove home quite shocked and traumatised from losing control on a busy road and feeling very unsafe and scared on a fast road, trapped on the hard shoulder.
When my husband asked me what had happened, I replied that the faster I was trying to go the slower I went! I then realised that this was a metaphor for my life. I am now at chapter 3.
I spent a long time at chapter 3 watching myself repeat the same patterns again and again but each time it happened I became more aware and intimate with the sequence of events that preceded falling down the hole. I became curious and interested about the process and would laugh at myself for yet again finding myself down there.
For a long period of time I didn’t fall down the hole and was able to see it ahead of me and walk round it. I think that is what I have managed to do that this time, just in time! I saw the hole – I was slipping in and then I realised a change of attitude was required. I was aware of a sense of urgency in me. With talking to my friend, I remembered that what I needed was some mindfulness and presence in the moment together with compassion for myself and where I found myself. Everyone will have their own way of moving towards a more peaceful state of mind. For me, it was to sit down and do the 15 Minute Miracle together with some EFT (instead of running round like a headless chicken!).
Here are some other suggestions that can help too:
- Meditate
- Walk in nature
- Dance
- Sing
- Breath!
I look forward to arriving at chapter 5 at some point in the not to far distant future!
I’d love to hear how you relate to this story about have moved through the various chapters…
If you are a mum who wants to have feel happier in herself, with her children check out my book Frazzled to Fabulous in 5 Minutes a Day Follow my quick and easy step-by-step programme here https://www.frazzledtofabulous.com/