This is a question that many people ask when hearing that I run the Birth Art Cafe. I learnt about when training with Pam England on the Birthing From Within course. After running a Birth Art Cafe training last week, I am motivated to address at least part of the answer to this question.
One participant on the course said “You give birth the way you live your life”. I totally agree and also believe that you approach birth art the way you live your life.
The Birth Art Cafe is a safe space where women can explore their motherhood journey.
The feelings that arise as a result of making the art can usually be related to where they are at in their motherhood journey (and life). I encourage them to become aware of their patterns and habits and invite them to try something different within the Birth Art Cafe – a safe space where making mistakes or getting it wrong will not have serious implications.
On one occasion, I remember a participant finishing her art work, putting the pastels back in their box and closing the lid with a sense of finality. I was curious and wondered how it related to her motherhood journey. I am always looking for connections between what happens at the Birth Art Café and how that relates to pregnancy and motherhood. Leaving the box of pastels open gives may give rise to uncertainty, incompleteness and mess.
In pregnancy women are often faced with uncertainty at a time when they want to know that everything is OK with the baby. They don’t feel “officially” pregnant until they have had their 3 month scan to confirm that all is OK.
Birth is messy and unpredictable. Unless having a planned caesarean birth, you don’t know when it will happen, how and how long it will take. Sometimes participants want to know how long they have to draw for. Although sessions are 2 hours, I like to create as open a space as possible for the “birth” of the art work and don’t really like giving a specific time. The way I approach facilitating the Birth Art Cafe, is the way I would approach a birth.
During early motherhood, incompleteness takes shape in the form of:
- unfinished conversations due to interruptions from toddlers,
- opened toys and games left untidily around the house and
- household tasks started and left because of higher priorities such as soothing a crying baby or changing a nappy.
So at the Birth Art Café that day, I invited the participant who had closed the box of pastels to open it again and sit with the uncertainty and possibility that perhaps her piece of art was incomplete. Just trying a different way of being is an opportunity for insights to reveal themselves. Maybe there was something that she was avoiding feeling by closing the box. I suggested she notices how it feels in her body to be with the possibility of incompleteness.
After some moments she shared that she noticed a discomfort and tightness in her chest. She liked the picture as it was and was worried about ruining it. It was easier to think of it as finished, than the sit with the possibility of ruining it if she continued. I reminded her that birth art is not about the end result but about the process of making the art and learning from it. As she absorbed that knowledge, she noticeably relaxed and immediately knew what needed to happen next to the picture. As she added it, a new softness and ease was apparent as she took a different path.
If you are a mum who wants to have feel happier in herself, with her children check out my book Frazzled to Fabulous in 5 Minutes a Day Follow my quick and easy step-by-step programme here https://www.frazzledtofabulous.com/