What is the enneagram?
In simple terms, the enneagram is a system used to catorgarise personality types but it is so much more than that.
It describes how one views and interprets the world in one of nine ways impact the decisions we make and how we live our lives. It’s an incredibly helpful tool in understanding yourself, how to overcome your parenting challenges.
Each person can only be one enneagram type although that is just the surface level of the enneagram.
The more you dig into this powerful system, the more you realize that there is so much more to it than just nine types.
Why Knowing Your Enneagram Type Can Be Useful for Mums
The Enneagram is a tool that can help you understand your personality, your motivations, and your behaviours. Knowing your Enneagram type can help you understand why you act the way you do and identify areas for personal growth. As a mum, knowing your Enneagram type can enable you to become more self-aware and understand the dynamics of the family. It can help you communicate better with your children, your partner, and other family members.
For example, if you’re a Type 1, you may be a perfectionist and want everything to be neat and organized. Understanding this can help you manage your expectations when dealing with a messy room, and you’ll be more patient with your children when cleaning up.
Enneagram in Parenting
This system can be used as a parenting tool to help mums communicate better with their children. By understanding your child’s Enneagram type, you can tailor your communication style and adapt to their needs. As a mum, your goal is to help your children grow into healthy and happy adults, but this can be challenging without proper communication. When understanding the Enneagram, you can identify situational triggers and be more empathetic towards your children when addressing them.
For example, Type 2s are natural nurturers and have a tendency to give more than is healthy for them, with a tendency to neglect themselves. Children need parents who are healthy and resilient, so prioritising self care means they have more to give their children from a centred strength.
Enneagram for children
Enneagram experts suggest waiting until children are in their late teens or early 20s before introducing them to the system. Labeling children before they are ready to process their own beingness can have a lasting impact on their sense of self and potentially create a false sense of identity.
Once you become familiar with the different enneagram types, you may start to notice patterns of behaviour connected to a particular type. Without explaining the system, you could experiment with ways of connecting with them that would support that enneagram type.
For example, Type 3 children believe they are loved because of what they do so they put a lot of pressure on themselves to succeed. if you suspect your child is Type 3, let them know they are loved just as they are, not because of what they do.
However the more you get to know your own Type and associated challenges, the easier it will be to recognise your parenting triggers, limiting beliefs and core issues. You can then use EFT to release the blocks to evolving into the healthiest version (each enneagram has levels of emotional health and the more work you do on yourself ,the healthier the version of yourself you experience) of your enneagram type.
Where to go from here
Understanding the Enneagram can enable you to become a more effective mum, creating deeper connections to your children and supporting your children to grow into confident adults.
Use the Enneagram together with EFT to build stronger relationships with your children and identify areas for personal growth. Remember that it’s never too late to learn about the Enneagram, and it’s a tool that can be used throughout your life.
There are many free online quizzes that will help you to identify your enneagram type. I recommend this one (however it is not free) or to simply read about the different types, go here.
Enneagram Type 1 characteristics, challenges and tapping script
To work with me to improve your parenting experience, with the enneagram and EFT, go here.