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Enneagram Type 1: the reformer/ idealist/ perfectionist

by | Apr 24, 2023 | Enneagram, Motherhood | 0 comments

Understanding your Enneagram can enable you to become a more effective mum, creating deeper connections to your children and supporting your children to grow into confident adults.

There are 9 Enneagram Types:

Type 1 The Reformer – Rational, Idealistic, Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, Perfectionist
Type 2 The Helper – Caring, Interpersonal, Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing, Possessive
Type 3 The Achiever – Success-Oriented, Pragmatic, Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, Image-Conscious
Type 4 The Individualist – Sensitive, Withdrawn, Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, Temperamental
Type 5 The Researcher – Intense, Cerebral, Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, Isolated
Type 6 The Loyalist – Committed, Security-Oriented, Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, Suspicious
Type 7 The Enthusiast – Busy, Fun-Loving, Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, Scattered
Type 8 The Challenger – Powerful, Dominating, Self-Confident, Decisive, Wilful, Confrontational
Type 9 The Peacemaker – Easy-going, Self-Effacing, Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, Complacent

 

There are many free online quizzes that will help you to identify your enneagram type. I recommend this one (however it is not free) or to simply read about the different types, go here.The online test I recommend is not free however you can google many free versions.

If you are Enneagram Type 1 then check out the key characteristics and challenges of being a Type 1 mum here + a tapping script specific to your needs!

Characteristics of an enneagram type 1 mum

1. Strong sense of responsibility and duty toward her family
2. High expectations for herself and her children
3. Strives to create structure
4. Clear rules and expectations
5. Organised
6. Make lists
7. Ensures everything has its proper place
8. Strong sense of right and wrong
9. Instills a sense of morality in her children

Challenges of an enneagram type 1 mum

1. Critical of themselves and their children
2. Unrealistic expectations
3. Difficult relaxing or being spontaneous
4. Overly focused on rules and routines
5. Struggle with guilt and self-doubt when not meeting their own high standards
6. Judgemental
7. Struggle with self-acceptance and self-compassion
8. Difficulty handling change or unexpected situations
9. Conflicts with their children & partners when perspectives differ

Core fear: being wrong or bad
Core desire: having integrity, being good

 

Tapping Script for an Enneagram Type 1 Mum

Side of hand:
Even though I’m trying so hard to get it right and it feels like a never ending battle, I acknowledge these feelings just the way they are

Even though I want to make it perfect for my child and that puts so much pressure on myself, I sooth and comfort myself

Even though I just don’t feel good enough whatever I do, I’m open to the possibility of being kind to myself

Top of head: I’m trying so hard to get it right
Eyebrow: It feels like a never ending battle
Side of eye: I just wish I could make things perfect for my child
Under eye: I end up putting so much pressure on myself
Under nose: I don’t feel good enough whatever I do
Chin: Its an uphill struggle
Collar bone: I have such high expectations
Under arm: Both for myself and my child

Top of head: Sometimes it just doesn’t feel OK to make mistakes
Eyebrow: And when I do, I’m hard on myself
Side of eye: I beat myself up
Under eye: I’ve been told I’m too critical
Under nose: And my child doesn’t get the best of me
Chin: I notice how rigid I can be
Collar bone: And its just not working
Under arm: I really want to change

Top of head: But I’m not sure how
Eyebrow: I want to feel lighter
Side of eye: And more relaxed about my parenting and my child
Under eye: I wonder how I can bring more fun into my parenting and my relationship with my child
Under nose: I wonder how I would be behaving if I could lighten up
Chin: I wonder how my child would respond to me differently
Collar bone: I choose to know and trust that lightness and fun are possible for me in life and my parenting
Under arm: I choose to allow lightness and fun into my day today
Centre of chest: Transform

 

WHAT TO DO NEXT

Check in to see how you feel now. Some signs that EFT is working are:

* feeling tired
* feeling more energised
* tingling
* lightness
* heaviness
* yawning or burping
* feeling different from before

If none of those apply, don’t despair. There are many reasons why EFT may appear not to be working. Some of them are here. And 5 powerful reasons why EFT can get stuck is here.

If you are still struggling, book a 1-2-1 session with me.

Understanding the Enneagram can enable you to become a more effective mum, creating deeper connections to your children and supporting your children to grow into confident adults.

Use the Enneagram together with EFT to build stronger relationships with your children and identify areas for personal growth. Remember that it’s never too late to learn about the Enneagram, and it’s a tool that can be used throughout your life.

To work with me to improve your parenting experience, with the enneagram and EFT, go here.