Amidst the fun and frustrations of present day family life in a COVID era with lockdown, homeschooling and home working, here are some suggestions about how as a mum you can manage your own wellbeing using EFT.
Tip 1: Start your day right
Just 5 minutes of EFT Tapping can make or break how the rest of the day during lockdown unfolds. You can do it while you are on the loo or in the shower (if you are not following a video!) if you don’t have time. You can do it with your kids so it becomes family moment. Tap on having a great day, tap to have more energy if you are feeling exhausted, tap on having a harmonious day (despite being in lockdown!) if you haven’t been getting on.
Tip 2: Use tapping to keep your cool with your parenting.
Living together in lockdown can intensify feelings of anger, frustration or impatience. Use your finger or facial tapping points to diffuse difficult feelings in the moment so that you can calmly respond to the situation instead of reacting and then regretting it. You don’t need to say any words, just tap until the emotion subsides.
Tip 3: Once EFT is a habit for you, teach your kids to tap!
It is such an empowering technique that kids can use which is literally at their finger tips. Here is a lovely testimonial from a mum whose kids tap:
“On a train journey at the weekend my smallest (almost 2) scratched my other daughters face (aged 5) there was no retaliation, or complaining to me. Before I could say anything, she very calmly picked up her little sisters hand and started a setup statement. What really surprised me was that the statement consisted of “even though I’ve hurt my sister and might feel a bit bad about it, I’m still a great kid”. So I’m finding EFT isn’t only helping her deal with her own issues but to think about others feelings too. Very proud & absolutely fascinating to watch the effects of this therapy unfolding in many different wonderful ways.” Bronte Maria Rawlingson
Tip 4: Tap with your kids at bedtime
Tap with your kids at bedtime to introduce them to this technique rather than using it for the first time when there is a problem. If you already have a bedtime routine, why not spend a few minutes tapping on your childrens finger points while talking about the day with them. If they are preverbal, you can tell them about their day. This helps them release the events of the day (good or bad) so they can slip easily into a deep sleep.
“My eldest and I tapped before bed. I slept nearly straight away. My eldest was a bit judgmental last night but still did it and was surprised this morning that she went to sleep straight away. Thank you sooooo much ”, Kate Kendall
Tip 5: Have compassion with yourself
It is difficult to keep up good habits at the best of times, but when challenged, as mums are now, with home schooling, working, managing the home, time for partner and time for me, its not surprising if new habits are going to be hard to maintain.
Here is an excerpt from my new book Frazzled to Fabulous in 5 Minutes a Day due to be published very soon.
The Mum who Fell Down a Hole (an adaptation of the story ‘Autobiography in Five Chapters’ by Portia Nelson, in Sogyal Rinpoche’s Tibetan Book of Living and Dying)
One day a mum walks down a street, juggling so many balls that she doesn’t see the deep hole in the pavement and falls into it. She feels frustrated, lost and hopeless. It’s not her fault. It takes her forever to find a way out.
The next day she walks down the same street. There’s still a deep hole in the pavement. She pretends she doesn’t see it coming. She falls in again. She can’t believe she’s in the same place: she was hoping things would turn out differently this time. She feels frustrated at her children, her partner and her life. She wants to give her children a happy childhood and spend quality time at home, at work, with her partner and even with herself, but somehow it never turns out that way. It takes her takes a long time to get out.
The next day she walks down the same street. There’s still a deep hole in the pavement. She sees it there: and falls in anyway! It’s a habit. It’s the story of her life. She tries all sorts of different things such as distracting herself with chocolate and wine, trying yoga, getting a massage, but still life continues in an annoying and uncomfortable repetitive pattern with never enough time, energy or patience for her children, her work, her home, her partner or herself.
She falls in with her eyes wide open. She knows where she is. She knows it’s her fault. Irritated with herself, she remembers the way out and takes it.
The next day she walks down the same street. There’s the deep hole in the pavement. She sees it. Maybe she does some tapping! She walks around it.
She walks down another street.
Can you relate to this story? I, and many mums I know, can. As humans we tend to repeat the same patterns over and over until we get the message and change our behaviour. Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
When we walk down the same street again and again without looking where we’re going because our minds are cluttered with our to-do lists, worrying about what we can rustle up for dinner and trying to remember if we locked the front door this morning, it’s understandable that we won’t see the hole in the pavement.
The good news is that EFT can help you to:
- become aware of the hole (the negative patterns in your life);
- feel compassion for yourself when you fall into the hole – because you will!
- clear your mind so that you can find strategies for getting out of the hole;
- get out of the hole faster than you would have been able to otherwise;
- release the limiting beliefs and behaviours that are causing you to fall down the hole in the first place;
- avoid the hole – and eventually walk down another street.
Sarah, a regular tapping mum shared in my facebook group:
“Goodness, I nearly fell into the hole of not tapping today – I was too busy!!! then I thought ‘NO, I’m too busy NOT to tap!’ After the tapping I’m now so ramped up to crack on I can hardly sit still long enough to type this, so excuse my brevity! buzzing buzzing buzzing I love tapping. “
If you are unfamiliar with EFT already, download my de-stress tapping video (with instructional video) to get started straight away: https://tamaradonn.com/de-stress-for-moms/
To learn to tap with your kids, download my How to tap with your kids ebook here: https://tamaradonn.com/kids-eft-ebook/