by | May 23, 2023 | Enneagram, Motherhood | 0 comments

Understanding your Enneagram can enable you to become a more effective mum, creating deeper connections to your children and supporting your children to grow into confident adults.

There are 9 Enneagram Types:

Type 1 The Reformer – Rational, Idealistic, Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, Perfectionist
Type 2 The Helper – Caring, Interpersonal, Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing, Possessive
Type 3 The Achiever – Success-Oriented, Pragmatic, Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, Image-Conscious
Type 4 The Individualist – Sensitive, Withdrawn, Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, Temperamental
Type 5 The Researcher – Intense, Cerebral, Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, Isolated
Type 6 The Loyalist – Committed, Security-Oriented, Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, Suspicious
Type 7 The Enthusiast – Busy, Fun-Loving, Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, Scattered
Type 8 The Challenger – Powerful, Dominating, Self-Confident, Decisive, Wilful, Confrontational
Type 9 The Peacemaker – Easy-going, Self-Effacing, Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, Complacent


There are many free online quizzes that will help you to identify your enneagram type. I recommend this one (however it is not free) or to simply read about the different types, go here.The online test I recommend is not free however you can google many free versions.

If you are Enneagram Type 5 then check out the key characteristics and challenges of being a Type 5 mum here + a tapping script specific to your needs!

Characteristics of an enneagram type 5 mum

1. Love learning

2. Encourage your child to be curious & ask questions

3. Independent

4. Give your child space to figure things out on their own

5. Reserved & introverted

6. Analytical and logical

7. Prioritise saving money over spending it on luxuries for your child

8. Encourage your child to be financially responsible

9. Like privacy

Challenges of an enneagram type 5 mum

1. Difficulty to connect with your child on an emotional level

2. Struggle to balance needs for solitude vs demands of parenting

3. Discomfort around socialising with other mums or facilitating playdates

4. Overly focused on children’s academic progress

5. Fear of becoming depleted or drained by constant demands of parenting

6. Overthinking & over-analysing

7. Isolation

8. Disconnected from your child’s emotional needs

9. Reluctance to seek support from others


Core fear: Being helpless, incompetent
Core desire: Being independent, knowledgeable



Tapping Script for an Enneagram Type 5 Mum

Side of hand:
Even though I struggle with connecting with my and my child’s emotions, I acknowledge that this is how it is right now

Even though I prefer being on my own, I acknowledge the stress I feel about needing to interact with other mums

Even though I am scared of becoming overwhelmed, I am open to trusting I am capable of providing for my child’s needs

Top of head: Stress about interacting with others

Eyebrow: I sometimes struggle to connect emotionally with my child
Side of eye: I often fear being overwhelmed by my child’s needs and emotions
Under eye: It’s hard for me to open up
Under nose: Its hard for me to express my vulnerability
Chin: But I know that my child need emotional connection from me
Collar bone: I recognise that my detachment can cause pain and hurt to my child
Under arm: I am willing to work on my emotional barriers and make an effort to connect with my child

Top of head: I choose to acknowledge my struggles without judgement
Eyebrow: I am noticing (or guessing if you don’t know) how they make me feel
Side of eye: I am noticing (or guessing if you don’t know) where I feel these feelings in my body
Under eye: I am breathing ease in to those part of my body <take a deep breath>
Under nose: I am noticing my feet on the ground
Chin: I am noticing my body just as it is right now
Collar bone: I choose to trust my ability to provide for my child emotionally and physically
Under arm: I choose to honour my own boundaries

Top of head: And respect my own need for space
Eyebrow: I forgive myself for any social mistakes I may have made
Side of eye: And trust in my ability to connect
Under eye: I know that I have valuable insights to share
Under nose: And I am capable of forming meaningful connections
Chin: I am worthy of love and connection
Collar bone: And I choose to cultivate relationships that support my growth and wellbeing
Centre of chest: Transform



Check in to see how you feel now. Some signs that EFT is working are:

* feeling tired
* feeling more energised
* tingling
* lightness
* heaviness
* yawning or burping
* feeling different from before

If none of those apply, don’t despair. There are many reasons why EFT may appear not to be working. Some of them are here. And 5 powerful reasons why EFT can get stuck is here.

If you are still struggling, book a 1-2-1 session with me.

Understanding the Enneagram can enable you to become a more effective mum, creating deeper connections to your children and supporting your children to grow into confident adults.

Use the Enneagram together with EFT to build stronger relationships with your children and identify areas for personal growth. Remember that it’s never too late to learn about the Enneagram, and it’s a tool that can be used throughout your life.

To work with me to improve your parenting experience, with the enneagram and EFT, go here.