Understanding your Enneagram can enable you to become a more effective mum, creating deeper connections to your children and supporting your children to grow into confident adults.
There are 9 Enneagram Types:
Type 1 The Reformer – Rational, Idealistic, Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, Perfectionist
Type 2 The Helper – Caring, Interpersonal, Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing, Possessive
Type 3 The Achiever – Success-Oriented, Pragmatic, Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, Image-Conscious
Type 4 The Individualist – Sensitive, Withdrawn, Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, Temperamental
Type 5 The Researcher – Intense, Cerebral, Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, Isolated
Type 6 The Loyalist – Committed, Security-Oriented, Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, Suspicious
Type 7 The Enthusiast – Busy, Fun-Loving, Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, Scattered
Type 8 The Challenger – Powerful, Dominating, Self-Confident, Decisive, Wilful, Confrontational
Type 9 The Peacemaker – Easy-going, Self-Effacing, Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, Complacent
There are many free online quizzes that will help you to identify your enneagram type. I recommend this one (however it is not free) or to simply read about the different types, go here.The online test I recommend is not free however you can google many free versions.
If you are Enneagram Type 9 then check out the key characteristics and challenges of being a Type 9 mum here + a tapping script specific to your needs!
Characteristics of an enneagram type 9 mum
1. strive to maintain harmony in their families
2. warm and supportive
3. patient and accommodating
4. create a comfortable and cozy home environment
5. sensitive to the emotional needs of their children
6. calm and patient with their kids
7. supportive of their children’s self-expression
8. laid-back approach to parenting
9. loving and nurturing
Challenges of an enneagram type 9 mum
1. May feel overlooked or unimportant
2. Difficulty making decisions
3. Avoids conflict and confrontation
4. Put family needs first, leading to burn out
5. takes on too much responsibility
6. struggle with feelings of inadequacy or self-doubt
7. Difficulty setting boundaries with her children
8. May feel overwhelmed and overburdened
9. Tendency to withdraw when stressed leading to lack of engagement with her children
Core fear: Conflict, losing connection
Core desire: Peace, stability
Tapping Script for an Enneagram Type 9 Mum
Side of hand:
Even though I sometimes struggle to express my needs and set limits as a mum, I acknowledge how it makes me feel.
Even though I prioritize my family’s needs over my own, I acknowledge that my needs matter too.
Even though I often avoid conflict with my children to maintain harmony in our home, I recognize this pattern and how it may not always be the best for our family.
Top of head: Sometimes I struggle to take care of my own needs
Eyebrow: Sometimes I even struggle to recognise what my needs are…
Side of eye: … when I’m so focussed on my children’s needs
Under eye: how will it affect my children if I prioritise myself?
Under nose: Setting boundaries makes me feel uncomfortable
Chin: I want to be a kind and compassionate parent
Collar bone: And setting boundaries feels unnatural and unfamiliar
Under arm: But always saying yes to my children may mean I am saying no to me
Top of head: And saying no to me, depletes my energy
Eyebrow: And when my energy is depleted I have less to give my children
Side of eye: And when I’m tired I sometimes withdraw
Under eye: And become emotionally unavailable to my children
Under nose: Sometimes I feel guilty when I prioritize my own needs
Chin: It’s hard for me to disappoint my children.
Collar bone: Its hard to know what the right thing to do is
Under arm: But the more I am able to nurture myself…
Top of head: … the more resourced I am to nurture my children
Eyebrow: And I am open to the possibility…
Side of eye: … of trusting my children will still love me even if I prioritise myself sometimes
Under eye: I wonder if there is a win-win journey to my situation
Under nose: I wonder what it will feel like to have enough energy as a mum
Chin: I wonder how that will benefit my children
Collar bone: I am open to the possibility of creating even more harmony …
Under arm:… in my family through nurturing myself
Centre of chest: Transform
WHAT TO DO NEXT
Check in to see how you feel now. Some signs that EFT is working are:
* feeling tired
* feeling more energised
* yawning or burping
* feeling different from before
If you are still struggling, book a 1-2-1 session with me.
Understanding the Enneagram can enable you to become a more effective mum, creating deeper connections to your children and supporting your children to grow into confident adults.
Use the Enneagram together with EFT to build stronger relationships with your children and identify areas for personal growth. Remember that it’s never too late to learn about the Enneagram, and it’s a tool that can be used throughout your life.
To work with me to improve your parenting experience, with the enneagram and EFT, go here.