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Enneagram Type 3: the achiever/driven

by | May 9, 2023 | Enneagram, Motherhood | 0 comments

Understanding your Enneagram can enable you to become a more effective mum, creating deeper connections to your children and supporting your children to grow into confident adults.

There are 9 Enneagram Types:

Type 1 The Reformer – Rational, Idealistic, Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, Perfectionist
Type 2 The Helper – Caring, Interpersonal, Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing, Possessive
Type 3 The Achiever – Success-Oriented, Pragmatic, Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, Image-Conscious
Type 4 The Individualist – Sensitive, Withdrawn, Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, Temperamental
Type 5 The Researcher – Intense, Cerebral, Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, Isolated
Type 6 The Loyalist – Committed, Security-Oriented, Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, Suspicious
Type 7 The Enthusiast – Busy, Fun-Loving, Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, Scattered
Type 8 The Challenger – Powerful, Dominating, Self-Confident, Decisive, Wilful, Confrontational
Type 9 The Peacemaker – Easy-going, Self-Effacing, Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, Complacent

 

There are many free online quizzes that will help you to identify your enneagram type. I recommend this one (however it is not free) or to simply read about the different types, go here.The online test I recommend is not free however you can google many free versions.

If you are Enneagram Type 3 then check out the key characteristics and challenges of being a Type 3 mum here + a tapping script specific to your needs!

Characteristics of an enneagram type 3 mum

1. Highly motivated & high expectations from their children
2. Competitive
3. Pay attention to their physical appearance
4. Excellent social skills
5. Charming and charismatic
6. Enjoy being around people & easily adapt to social situations
7. Prioritise work and career
8. Excel at adapting to change

9. Highly resourceful

Challenges of an enneagram type 3 mum

1. Difficult to find the balance between career & family
2. Pressure to be the best parent possible
3. Strive for the perfect home, children & life
4. Struggle with vulnerability
5. Hard to connect with your children on an emotional level
6. Crave recognition and validation in parenting & work
7. Prone to feeling like a failure if your child does not meet your expectations
8. Put pressure on your children to excel

9. Hard to accept your child’s limitations or failures

Core fear: Not looking successful, seen as incompetent
Core desire: Being admired, valued

 

Tapping Script for an Enneagram Type 3 Mum

Side of hand:
Even though I have to help my child be the best they can, I acknowledge the pressure I put on myself (and sometimes them)

Even though I find it hard to accept it when my child doesn’t succeed I acknowledge that feeling with self-compassion

Even though it’s not OK to fail, I acknowledge that feeling with tenderness and kindness

Top of head: I have to help my child be the best they can

Eyebrow: I acknowledge the pressure I put on myself
Side of eye: And sometimes on my child
Under eye: I find it hard to accept it when my child doesn’t succeed
Under nose: It’s not OK for me to fail as a parent
Chin: The thought of my child failing is too painful to bear
Collar bone: I want to protect my child from that feeling
Under arm: I notice I compare the way I parent with others

Top of head: I notice how I compare my child to others
Eyebrow: I notice how it makes me feel when I compare
Side of eye: I choose to know that my value is not dependent on my achievements
Under eye: I choose to know that my child’s value is not dependent on their achievements
Under nose: I choose to know that I am valuable just as I am and just as I’m not
Chin: I choose to know that my child is valuable just as they are and just as they’re not
Collar bone: I want to be a good role model for my children
Under arm: But I also need to take care of my own wellbeing and aspirations

Top of head: I choose to find a balance between my personal and parental goals
Eyebrow: I choose to show up authentically and empathetically for my children
Side of eye: I wonder if I can embrace my imperfections…
Under eye: …as well as celebrating my accomplishments?
Under nose: I commit to learning and growing as a parent & as a person
Chin: I am open to the possibility…
Collar bone: …of knowing and trusting…
Under arm: …I am worthy, just as I am, regardless of my achievements
Centre of chest: Transform

 

WHAT TO DO NEXT

Check in to see how you feel now. Some signs that EFT is working are:

* feeling tired
* feeling more energised
* tingling
* lightness
* heaviness
* yawning or burping
* feeling different from before

If none of those apply, don’t despair. There are many reasons why EFT may appear not to be working. Some of them are here. And 5 powerful reasons why EFT can get stuck is here.

If you are still struggling, book a 1-2-1 session with me.

Understanding the Enneagram can enable you to become a more effective mum, creating deeper connections to your children and supporting your children to grow into confident adults.

Use the Enneagram together with EFT to build stronger relationships with your children and identify areas for personal growth. Remember that it’s never too late to learn about the Enneagram, and it’s a tool that can be used throughout your life.

To work with me to improve your parenting experience, with the enneagram and EFT, go here.