Understanding your Enneagram can enable you to become a more effective mum, creating deeper connections to your children and supporting your children to grow into confident adults.
There are 9 Enneagram Types:
Type 1 The Reformer – Rational, Idealistic, Principled, Purposeful, Self-Controlled, Perfectionist
Type 2 The Helper – Caring, Interpersonal, Demonstrative, Generous, People-Pleasing, Possessive
Type 3 The Achiever – Success-Oriented, Pragmatic, Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, Image-Conscious
Type 4 The Individualist – Sensitive, Withdrawn, Expressive, Dramatic, Self-Absorbed, Temperamental
Type 5 The Researcher – Intense, Cerebral, Perceptive, Innovative, Secretive, Isolated
Type 6 The Loyalist – Committed, Security-Oriented, Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, Suspicious
Type 7 The Enthusiast – Busy, Fun-Loving, Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, Scattered
Type 8 The Challenger – Powerful, Dominating, Self-Confident, Decisive, Wilful, Confrontational
Type 9 The Peacemaker – Easy-going, Self-Effacing, Receptive, Reassuring, Agreeable, Complacent
There are many free online quizzes that will help you to identify your enneagram type. I recommend this one (however it is not free) or to simply read about the different types, go here.The online test I recommend is not free however you can google many free versions.
If you are Enneagram Type 8 then check out the key characteristics and challenges of being a Type 8 mum here + a tapping script specific to your needs!
Characteristics of an enneagram type 8 mum
1. Major mama bear – you protect your own!
2. Prioritises physical activity
3. Might teach your child self-defence so he won’t be vulnerable
4. Assertive and direct when talking to your child
5. Confident in your abilities & opinions
6. Protect your family & fiercely loyal to those you love
7. Willing to take charge & make tough decisions when necessary
8. Values strength, independence & self-sufficiency
9. No-nonsense approach to parenting, with clear expectations and consequences
Challenges of an enneagram type 8 mum
1. “my way or the highway”
2. Struggle with vulnerability or expressing your emotions
3. Struggle with delegating or trusting others to handle things on their own
4. Prone to anger when others don’t meet your expectations
5. Tendency to want to control your child’s life, which can be overwhelming & stressful for both you & your child
6. Impatience with tendency to rush a child’s natural pace
7. Bluntness that can be harsh or intimidating to children
9. Hard to ask for help
Core fear: Weakness, vulnerability
Core desire: Being in control, protecting self and others
Tapping Script for an Enneagram Type 8 Mum
Side of hand:
Even though sometimes I upset my child with my bluntness, I acknowledge that this is the way it is right now.
Even though sometimes I scare my child when I don’t intend to, I am open to finding compassionate ways of communicating with him.
Even though sometimes I come across as intimidating, I choose to use my strengths in a positive way for the benefit of my family.
Top of head:Sometimes I upset my child with my bluntness
Eyebrow: Sometimes I scare my child when I don’t intend to
Side of eye: Sometimes I come across as intimidating
Under eye: I’m not very good with vulnerability
Under nose: I stick my neck out for others & receive no appreciation
Chin: FI find it hard to let go of injustices against me or my child
Collar bone: I put a lot of pressure on myself
Under arm: I put a lot of pressure on my child
Top of head: Maybe sometimes too much
Eyebrow: I acknowledge how this makes me feel…
Side of eye: … even though I am not good with feelings & vulnerability
Under eye: Maybe I can have the courage…
Under nose: …to look at the aspects of me…
Chin: …that sabotage my relationship with my child
Collar bone: I am open to the possibility…
Under arm: …of being curious…
Top of head: …so that I can create a stronger relationship with my child
Eyebrow: I recognise my strengths of independence & self-reliance
Side of eye: I believe in my child & care about & his welfare
Under eye: I choose to use my strengths for good
Under nose: I choose to build a strong and loving family system…
Chin: …where its safe for me & my family to express all aspects of themselves
Collar bone: I trust that my child has his own path to walk & lessons to learn
Under arm: I choose to show my love & appreciation for him in a healthy & positive way
Centre of chest: Transform
WHAT TO DO NEXT
Check in to see how you feel now. Some signs that EFT is working are:
* feeling tired
* feeling more energised
* yawning or burping
* feeling different from before
If you are still struggling, book a 1-2-1 session with me.
Understanding the Enneagram can enable you to become a more effective mum, creating deeper connections to your children and supporting your children to grow into confident adults.
Use the Enneagram together with EFT to build stronger relationships with your children and identify areas for personal growth. Remember that it’s never too late to learn about the Enneagram, and it’s a tool that can be used throughout your life.
To work with me to improve your parenting experience, with the enneagram and EFT, go here.